suatu hari

suatu hari dulu saat SMA saya gagal tes masuk suatu ekstrakuriluler. dengan wajah lesu saya pulang ke rumah dan menagis mengadu pada ibu saya. saya rasa tidak ada seorang teman pun yang tau kalau saya sampai menangis karena itu.haha saya kesal sekali karena sudah berlatih demikian bersemangat, namun akhirnya tidak dipilih juga. pada saat itu adik dari ibu saya datang ke rumah. si om berkata pada saya,

sekarang ica udah mulai dewasa, masa-masa inilah ica akan merasakan macam-macam hal yang tidak sesuai dengan keinginan ica. sekarang tentang ekstrakurikuler, nanti mungkin tentang pacar ica, tentang teman, atau sekolah. semua itu wajar, memang itulah jalannya. jangan berkecil hati, ica harus terus belajar dan berusaha.

setelah mendengar itu tangis saya mulai mereda, tapi masih beringus-ingus.haha saya mulai mencerna apa yang dikatakan om saya itu. tidak sekali langsung mengerti, panjang sekali prosesnya. dan saya rasa sampai pada hari ini, detik ini saya menulis, saya masih dalam proses belajar. belajar yang banyak sekali, semakin saya gagal maka akan semakin saya lebih baik dari sebelumnya.

working hand

i happy to hear someone called me autism while i seriously do something important for my (mental) health by my hand. you can do drawing, painting, sculpting, writing, folding, playing music instruments, anything! make something, a thing! except robbing, slapping, or anyting that hurting someone else. (and i don't suggest to masturbating, but it's up to you :p). produce someting is the best way to killing time. 

here the newest object of my affections, some people called it jumping clay or korean/japanese clay. we don't need to bake the dough to make it dry and hard, just leave it for couple hours or a day it will dry and hard. sadly i don't like the price for this thing, i think it's quite expensive :(

thats my amateure works :D

by the way, happy Eid ul Adha sisters-brothers muslims :D

(unofficial) new girl

 

since eboy gone, there's big hole in my heart. i wanna pet so baddly but it's hard to found a cat like eboy and i wouldn't cage small animals in a crib, so for a while i'll not have pet. but who's that girl? it's DINI :3 my unofficial cat. yes dini is a female, i'm promise to myself to never pet a female cat. because she will mating, pregnant, and having kittens. taking care kitten is too risky, they are fragile and i don't know why male cats loves to hunt them :(  i don't wanna burried cats beside my home anymore. it's sad to remeber when i holded the kittens to the grave. so i decided to never pets any female cat, but... it's hard to deny that dini so adorable. her face looks like eboy, i wonder that she might be eboy's daughter. and sometime her behavior is stupid as much as eboy did :)) early morning she love to catch nothing on the grass, and sometime she spinning like crazy try to catch her own tail. i'll be nice to her, and let she play in my house. why i called her dini? everyone can see that she is young as a cat, i call it teen's cat. latey i see her nipples growing bigger, i realize she pregnant now like agnes monica's sinetron T-T why human and cat do same thing, they mating so early T-T i envy :))

and a very new girl is...who's that girl??

 

it's JESS! can't wait to saturday night November 5th :3

picture from click me :')